How to Cross the Street

Everytime I visit a country where traffic laws are sparse or loosely regulated, I say that it is the worst, most unorganized traffic I have ever seen. Hanoi is no different. Unlike Mexico where traffic just flows, or even in China where cars mostly go however they please, the traffic in Vietnam moves and scatters like ants whose anthill has just been destroyed (if they had horns). About 90% of the traffic are scooters, and they drive in which ever direction they want to: with traffic, against traffic, sideways through traffic, it really doesn't matter. However, this makes every street one big clusterf**k.


If driving through the streets seems like madness, then walking through and across them is pure lunacy; but it is nessicary. The sidewalks are cluttered with parked scooters and people sitting around drinking tea with friends. You must learn how to walk through all that madness. It requires a willful suspension of every safety lesson your mother ever taught you. If you wait for a clearing of traffic and then look both ways, your window will be closed.

Like plunging into a torrent river to get to the other side, you must boldly step out onto the street and without stopping, walk in a measured pace across the street. Scooters, cars and bikes will move around you. They slow down or speed up and weave through eachother to avoid hitting you. They have more to loose by hurting you, than you have to loose from being hit. If there is an accident where someone is hurt, their scooters are impounded for 3 months and if they kill someone, they have to pay the victim's income for the rest of thier lives. They won't hit you. To avoid this, they lay on thier horns to let everyone know where they are; the problem becomes that the whole city is a live symphony of honks, horns and beeps that meld together.

Your only job is to keep moving, do not stop unless there is a scooter directly in front of you. Also, do not run or rush, give the drivers enough time to figure out the best way to avoid you. The first time I stepped into traffic, it was surreal. It went against every instinct in my body and like a normal person I was watching oncoming traffic and half way through, froze like deer in headlights. We all know what happens to the deer... Fortunately, the drivers swerved around me, cutting off and almost running into everyone on either side of them and nearly caused a wreck. I found it nearly impossible to overcome the instinct to stop when I saw 10 scooters zooming right at me. My trick to avoid this, which adds a whole new level of excitement, danger and naughtiness, became to simply not look. I kept my eyes resolutely fixed on my destination across the street and ignored the horns I knew where directed at me. Sure, I squealed when a motor bike whizzed by so close it ruffled my shorts, but I lived to cross another street and the scooter driver got to their destination