Relax. You've Done This Before

Wednesday, April 10th, 2013 2:00 a.m.

Six hours to liftoff. My heart is racing the clock to see which can tick the fastest. I am almost frantically unpacking, refolding and repacking my one suitcase. The items for my carry on bag are strewn about in a circle around me. 18"x 18" boxes containing every possession worth keeping are taped closed, labeled and scattered around the main floor of my mother's house. They will be placed in the basement storage room until I don't know when. The rest of my things, mostly clothes piled around the couch, totally obscuring it, are waiting to be donated. A thousand odds and ends still nag at the back of my mind: chiefly  where I am I going to sleep when I arrive in Ho Chi Minh City/ Saigon, Vietnam at 11p.m. tomorrow night.

I drop everything. I need to book a room. The search for a reasonable room in a central location a few hours before take off is agonizing. How close is this place to where I want to stay the next night? Why is that room only $9? Will they still have my room at 11p.m.?
I settle on a safe room for $25. Shouldn't be any surprises.
Back to my suitcase. My heart only beats faster.

The suitcase is packed. It is two pounds overweight. Pull out a blanket. Why am I bringing a blanket to the tropics?! I've needed a blanket in the tropics before. Repack the blanket in the carry on. The suitcase is exactly the weight limit. Thank you luggage scale.
Carry on bag packed with blanket, changes of clothes and all my shoes. One pair doesn't fit. Why am I bringing kitchen shoes anyway?

All electronics and matching cords are accounted for. They are packed into backpack. All paperwork and passport organized in a folder. Folder packed.
Kitchen shoes stuffed in the backpack. Each sticking half way out a different pocket. Will they both make it?
Its 4:00 a.m. Finished Packing.

What was I going to do next? What do I NEED to do next?
This was a mistake. Why am I moving to Vietnam?! This doesn't even make sense!

RELAX. You've done this before:


Sunday, June 16th, 2006 4:30 a.m.

Two and a half hours to liftoff. I couldn't sleep so I stayed up watching Turner Classic Movies all night. I am walking across my mother's basement in the dark. I stop, take a deep breath, squeeze the pillow in my arms for dear life and reality hits me: I am walking to the car that will take me to the airport to fly to New York to start culinary school. Everything I have known in my life up to this point is staying here, what isn't staying here is packed in my suitcase by the door. I will be sharing a new room with a complete stranger in a strange place tonight. I have no idea what I'll be doing tomorrow or the next day: I'm scared. I breathe out, relax my death grip on the pillow and confidently walk to the car.

April 10th, 2013 4:30 a.m.

I was so much braver then. Or naive.
Time to cut my losses. Clear up odds and ends. Put them away. Whatever doesn't get done won't be remembered or matter by tomorrow. My bags are packed. My paperwork is in order. I have a place to sleep tomorrow night.
Breathe in. Breathe out. I am ready.